Coke Can Dan

Sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. A caller the other day sent me a picture of his dick. It was very thick. He said it had caused some issues in his life, since it was a bit too large for some women to take. He said when he was in college many years ago, he’d stumbled out into the hall and a towel slipped off of him, or something similar, and a girl saw him and said his dick was as big around as a can of Coke, and his nickname from then on became “Coke Can Dan.”

I told him he should get a tee shirt printed up and that would make ladies ask what it means, and he could then explain it from there and no doubt attract a few interested size queens along the way that would look at it as a personal challenge to see if they could in fact get it inside. Some women are looking for that kind of challenge. Some would look at it as painful and not even try. He said over the years two ladies had seen it and said it was a no go. They only were able to give him oral sex, no penetration. He was also specific he preferred to just have it licked, not sucked.

There’s all kinds out there. Some so small they pop out of a woman with each thrust, some so small they cannot even penetrate at all. If your dick is a nub the size of an acorn, there’s really nothing there to penetrate with. There’s so much variation in sizes, from small to large. Some too small to be of any use, some too large for many ladies to even attempt to accommodate. A nice, happy medium would be the nice thing, but you do get extremes on either end of the spectrum.

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Spank Me with the Bible!

One of my favorite callers is a nice old man who just happens to be into religious blasphemy. Like most into that not very common fetish, he was raised in a religious home. Ones that are atheists of course have little use for a fetish they don’t believe in or have experience with, it’s just a non issue or thought for them. It’s the ones that came from the strict church going family that is is a really forbidden sin to even talk about and that is the appeal to them. He is a rural farmer who’s mother almost fainted once when her husband said the word “shit” in front of her son, lol. So for me to swear a blue streak taking the Lord’s name in vain countless times on a call is quite sinful to him.

He feels guilty engaging in such a call, but no real harm is of course done. He’s a Southern Baptist, as several have been that called for these types of calls. The fire and brimstone past certainly had an effect on them growing up. The poor old mother, were she still alive, would no doubt be sure her son would be delivered straight to hell for engaging in such calls. There’s even talk of spanking him with the *gulp* bible!

Now some operators that came from a religious background themselves will not conduct such a call. I have heard this from other operators, so I do hope my own soul is not being jeopardized by partaking in such sinful talk. I think I’ll chance it though. It’s harmless enough, the callers do seem to enjoy it a tremendous amount, more so than other callers even, because they do think it is so wicked. Some have odd fantasies involving church, the Catholic ones get the priests and the nuns involved as well in their fantasies. Never a dull moment in the world of phone sex.

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Blackmailing the Neighbor

There’s a caller that has a fantasy involving his neighbor, which is a fairly common thing to fantasize about. His take on it is a bit unusual though. He wants to pretend he’s seen her fucking another man behind her husband’s back while he’s at work. He even says he’s recorded her on his phone and will show it to her husband unless she sleeps with him to keep him quiet. Pretty standard blackmail scene. Of course she can’t have her husband find out what she’s doing behind his back, so she has no choice but to meet the neighbors demands.

He likes her to come over once her husband has gone to work, and pull up her skirt and bend over his couch to start with. He’s going to give her a spanking, since she’s been a very bad girl cheating on her husband. She feels she has no choice, so she allows him to spank her. Then fuck her. If she’s lucky, he will delete the footage on his phone he recorded of her and another man fucking through the window and not show her husband. Of course for the future availability of fucking her, he will end up having another copy, so he can continue blackmailing her over and over again.

This sort of fantasy is pretty common. Usually a boss and employee situation, or a landlord tenant situation, but a neighbor who saw something they shouldn’t have certainly also works. A lot of men enjoy having that power over a woman, to be able to have her available on demand like that, and what better way than blackmailing to do so? They’ve got you over a barrel and they know it. Your marriage or you fuck me, make a choice. They are predictable little fantasies, but they certainly are popular with callers.

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Sounds of Weirdness

One thing some callers ask for is sounds. Not just moans and groans, but odd sounds. When you are a newbie, you are much more willing to appease their odd demands and requests. The longer you’ve been an operator, the less apt you are to indulge such foolishness. Some want blow jobs sounds, which sounds a simple enough request, but after sucking on pens for twenty minutes, your mouth is plenty sore and fatigued. So I simply no longer will do it. If they ask for such things, I simply tell them I do not offer sound effects.

Some want sneezing sounds, also not happening. One man years ago wanted a whole variety of barnyard sounds. He wasn’t into animals, he just wanted to see what he could get you to do on the phone. Bark like a dog, bray like a donkey, baa like a sheep, whiney like a horse. I am dead serious. Some want you to yell, I tell them I will not strain my voice for anyone. Others will say their neighbors would be able to hear or there’s others in the house. Some want spanking, I’ve clapped my hands hundreds of times to simulate the smacks.

If the human body can do it, rest assured someone has asked for it. Burping, farting, gargling. It’s beyond crazy what some callers will ask for. That’s not even getting into ones that ask to hear you go pee or pooh! Many feel they are paying to be entertained, which they are, verbally by talking, not as in thinking we are some kind of live sound effects machine. There’s seemingly no end to the lunacy you can experience in this job. The requests you will have tossed at you. They sometimes will get downright angry if refused, like they have a right to demand you to make whatever sounds they are in the mood to hear. We aren’t machines, please do not treat us as such.

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Office Hanky Panky

One of the more popular roleplays I get requests for is boss and employee. It’s ridiculous how common this one is. There’s so many men out there that want to bang someone at work, yet with harassment issues what they are these days, many dare not entertain such thoughts for real. So they ask to pretend they are getting to bang the woman at work they are actually fantasizing about. The old threat of “If you don’t, I’ll fire you,” is a common scene. Times are tough, they need to let go the least valuable employees, and of course the woman they are fantasizing about begs, pleads, will do anything to avoid being let go. She needs the money, desperately, and will do anything to earn it.

One caller used to not ask to fuck me in his fantasy, but he’d ask his employee to masturbate in front of him. Locked in his office, after work, on his sofa, legs spread, skirt pulled up and reluctantly stroking her pussy for her boss’s entertainment. If she wouldn’t agree to do this for him, of course she was going to have to be let go. He’d masturbate watching her, but he never approached her. He just wanted to watch. His calls were kind of fun actually.

Then there’s the office sluts who are more than happy to fuck the boss, his buddies, anyone, to climb that corporate ladder. She’s the one willing to do anything the other ladies won’t to get ahead and not have to work so hard on it. There are plenty of those types out there who figure it’s well worth it to get a raise and or some perks for a little hanky panky over the desk. A small thing to have to provide. Office scenes are always popular, no matter which way they go, it seems.

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