Your Dick is Ugly

Posted on December 8, 2025 by Sharon

Why is it that guys that ask for dick rating have the ugliest dicks? I swear they must be a masochist and want humiliation, since they want you to critique their cock. You want honesty? I’ll give you honesty. I’ll be so brutal and cruel about your sub par, ugly cock, my words will ring in your head every time you see the ugly thing the rest of your living days. You’ll be sorry you ever asked in the first place! Unless you like that kind of thing. Lots of guys do want to be cut to ribbons by a cruel Mistress.

It’s so easy to pick apart their faults feature by feature. Most send pics of their dicks do not have porn star quality cocks. Most are frightening. Hairy, veiny, small, inadequate. Let me count the insults. I’ll make you feel so freakish and small, you could rattle around in a thimble. Operators really do enjoy these sorts of insults. It brings out our creativity. Sometimes I wonder if these men are truly delusional, that they think they have a decent penis. Granted, one hundred percent of them are not ugly, but the vast majority are nothing to brag about.

You’d think unless you did fall into that small porn star quality percentage, why would you want to send a stranger a picture of your ugly penis? They either think it’s not ugly to begin with, or they feel it must be average, so how bad could it be in comparison? Some genuinely aren’t seeking cruelty and sarcasm when they ask for a dick rating, but damn, it’s hard not to just go to town and be cruel and mean about how it really looks. Some have one they can be proud of, most, do not. Not by a long shot. Keep it in your pants boys, we don’t want to see it, and if you make us, you damned well better pay us to look at it.

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Tickle My Nose

Posted on November 3, 2025 by Sharon

Sneezing is not a fetish we often get calls for, but it can and does come up once in a while. I had a call last week that was actually a combination of a couple of fetishes. Sneezing, and fur. Now I’m not a believer of real fur coats, but a good fake one can look real. A man called up and wanted me to watch a movie clip on Youtube, not common, but it happens. Then he told me the timestamp, around 2:13, of an animated cat swishing its tail under the nose of a boy, and this greatly excited him. I was kind of speechless how such a scene could arouse anyone in any way, yet it did.

Then he mentioned he has a thing for fur coats and puffy, furry things tickling his nose. I can’t even imagine how such a fetish gets its beginnings to evolve into this. I even watched the clip a few times to try and understand, yet fail to. Fetishes do seem to come about in early experiences, and some that have mentioned movie scenes watched them in their youth and for some reason were affected by them a great deal.

I can well recall scenes from certain movies I saw in my youth that affected me, but none developed into any sort of fetish. It’s funny how they do in some, yet not in others. They will return to that scene again and again for decades to rouse whatever odd longing is deep within them. He didn’t mention tickling himself under the nose with fur items, but many times callers are too embarrassed to mention everything that’s going on for their side of the call. Some will spill everything, others know their desires are unusual and will conceal parts of what they tell you is actually going on.

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Coke Can Dan

Posted on September 29, 2025 by Sharon

Sometimes there can be too much of a good thing. A caller the other day sent me a picture of his dick. It was very thick. He said it had caused some issues in his life, since it was a bit too large for some women to take. He said when he was in college many years ago, he’d stumbled out into the hall and a towel slipped off of him, or something similar, and a girl saw him and said his dick was as big around as a can of Coke, and his nickname from then on became “Coke Can Dan.”

I told him he should get a tee shirt printed up and that would make ladies ask what it means, and he could then explain it from there and no doubt attract a few interested size queens along the way that would look at it as a personal challenge to see if they could in fact get it inside. Some women are looking for that kind of challenge. Some would look at it as painful and not even try. He said over the years two ladies had seen it and said it was a no go. They only were able to give him oral sex, no penetration. He was also specific he preferred to just have it licked, not sucked.

There’s all kinds out there. Some so small they pop out of a woman with each thrust, some so small they cannot even penetrate at all. If your dick is a nub the size of an acorn, there’s really nothing there to penetrate with. There’s so much variation in sizes, from small to large. Some too small to be of any use, some too large for many ladies to even attempt to accommodate. A nice, happy medium would be the nice thing, but you do get extremes on either end of the spectrum.

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Spank Me with the Bible!

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Sharon

One of my favorite callers is a nice old man who just happens to be into religious blasphemy. Like most into that not very common fetish, he was raised in a religious home. Ones that are atheists of course have little use for a fetish they don’t believe in or have experience with, it’s just a non issue or thought for them. It’s the ones that came from the strict church going family that is is a really forbidden sin to even talk about and that is the appeal to them. He is a rural farmer who’s mother almost fainted once when her husband said the word “shit” in front of her son, lol. So for me to swear a blue streak taking the Lord’s name in vain countless times on a call is quite sinful to him.

He feels guilty engaging in such a call, but no real harm is of course done. He’s a Southern Baptist, as several have been that called for these types of calls. The fire and brimstone past certainly had an effect on them growing up. The poor old mother, were she still alive, would no doubt be sure her son would be delivered straight to hell for engaging in such calls. There’s even talk of spanking him with the *gulp* bible!

Now some operators that came from a religious background themselves will not conduct such a call. I have heard this from other operators, so I do hope my own soul is not being jeopardized by partaking in such sinful talk. I think I’ll chance it though. It’s harmless enough, the callers do seem to enjoy it a tremendous amount, more so than other callers even, because they do think it is so wicked. Some have odd fantasies involving church, the Catholic ones get the priests and the nuns involved as well in their fantasies. Never a dull moment in the world of phone sex.

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Blackmailing the Neighbor

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Sharon

There’s a caller that has a fantasy involving his neighbor, which is a fairly common thing to fantasize about. His take on it is a bit unusual though. He wants to pretend he’s seen her fucking another man behind her husband’s back while he’s at work. He even says he’s recorded her on his phone and will show it to her husband unless she sleeps with him to keep him quiet. Pretty standard blackmail scene. Of course she can’t have her husband find out what she’s doing behind his back, so she has no choice but to meet the neighbors demands.

He likes her to come over once her husband has gone to work, and pull up her skirt and bend over his couch to start with. He’s going to give her a spanking, since she’s been a very bad girl cheating on her husband. She feels she has no choice, so she allows him to spank her. Then fuck her. If she’s lucky, he will delete the footage on his phone he recorded of her and another man fucking through the window and not show her husband. Of course for the future availability of fucking her, he will end up having another copy, so he can continue blackmailing her over and over again.

This sort of fantasy is pretty common. Usually a boss and employee situation, or a landlord tenant situation, but a neighbor who saw something they shouldn’t have certainly also works. A lot of men enjoy having that power over a woman, to be able to have her available on demand like that, and what better way than blackmailing to do so? They’ve got you over a barrel and they know it. Your marriage or you fuck me, make a choice. They are predictable little fantasies, but they certainly are popular with callers.

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