Getting the Tradesman Off

Recently I was having some work done on my home, and of course working from home kind of gets in the way a little bit. I tried to be quiet about doing phone sex, but the men working in the nearby rooms could surely hear a few things even through closed doors. They didn’t say anything though. One night I got a call on the paid line and the man’s voice sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. I did the call as normal. Then the next day this one workman said I’d been great the night before. I didn’t know what he’d meant. Then I recognized the voice. It was he who had called my line.

I’d gotten the workman off from my own home without even realizing it. I didn’t reply, I just went back in my office to do calls. They were finished in a couple of more days, but every night the workman was calling my line. He was into mommy son calls as well, so it was a bit odd to pretend like nothing is going on face to face then talk about him fucking mommy when he calls a few hours after I saw him working on my home.

The business can be quite odd. You’d not know to look at him he was into anything a bit different, but that’s the thing. You just never know who’s into what. Will he keep calling when the job is over? I’ve no idea, I shall have to see. To think the tradesman was stroking his dick to my voice and description of mommy sucking his dick and then twelve hours later was laying flooring in my hallway outside my bedroom door. He was likely hard as a rock as he was doing so, hearing the naughty conversations wafting out from under the doorway.

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Long Way Home

I was foolish enough to accept an invitation to an out of town party, I went there by bus but didn’t think about the party being over so late the buses had stopped running for the night. This isn’t some big city where I live where they go around the clock. So I was in a strange city, no credit card or money for a hotel for the night, and the only people I knew had left. There was a man that hadn’t left yet and I had no choice but to approach him and ask if there was any way he’d agree to drive me home, over an hour away. I said I had no money.

He looked at me like I was nuts, but I told him I really had no options. He said the only way he’d agree to it was if I’d give him a blow job. I wasn’t thrilled with my options, but didn’t see any way around just doing it. He led me into an empty bedroom and told me to get undressed. I did as I was told and he undressed and got naked on the bed and I took his cock in hand and started to blow him.

I found he had a nice cock actually, so it wasn’t as bad as I’d been concerned about. I actually began to feel quite horny, so I reached down and began to lay with my clit while I sucked him off. Sucking on the head of his hard cock, licking the tip of it that was leaking precum and sucking on his balls. He seemed to like what I was doing to him, so I just continued on. I made myself cum and that triggered him soon after. He said when a woman has an orgasm with his dick in their mouth, he goes wild. I soon had a mouthful of cum, swallowed it and we got dressed and were on our way to drive me home.

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My Cock’s In a Sock

One of my callers likes to masturbate with his cock in a sock. The first thing I thought of when he told me this was the scene in the movie “American Pie”, where the hapless young lad does the same and his parents walk in on him as he’s watching scrambled porn. He said he was given sixteen pairs of socks by his grandmother for Christmas and is christening them all one by one. So that’s thirty two masturbation sessions, and he’s using them a few times before washing them apparently. I asked if he was cutting up the tip of his cock with the crusty, dried semen in the sock tip from the last sessions. OMG.

Now who seriously gives anyone sixteen pairs of socks at one time? I asked if he was going to tell his grandma about his christening of the Christmas socks and he said no. I couldn’t make theses things up if I tried. Talk about truth being stranger than fiction! He said he likes knowing that I know he’s actually masturbating with his cock in his sock . I asked if he’d seen the funny video with Justin Timberlake called “Dick in a Box” from several years ago, and he said yes, so I say it’s his cock in a sock the same way as the video, it’s absurd the stuff I converse on in the average day.

He said he’d love an all female audience when he masturbates to watch him perform, though with a sock concealing the view, it really wouldn’t be the same. I asked if he got dick burn from the wool socks like you would from rug burn. He claims no, but it cannot feel that great, oh well. People sure masturbate in many different ways and with many different objects to help themselves achieve orgasm.

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Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy

This one caller was telling me how when he was a little boy waiting for Santa, he’d wait on the stairs for him to come down the chimney and his parents had no idea that he was spying on the living room. He said one night Santa appeared, though he couldn’t recall him coming out of the fireplace, he must have nodded off. Then he woke up in a hell of a hurry when Santa all of a sudden was making these noises, he didn’t know what kind of noises they were though. Then he saw his mom kneeling on the floor in front of him with Santa’s pee pee in her mouth!

He watched in wide eyed amazement as this went on for some time, then his mom laid on the rug in front of the fireplace and Santa and stripped off her clothes and Santa did as well and he got on top of her an started to move back and forth. I was laughing as I heard this bizarre recounting of this childhood memory. He was laughing too, but he had only been a little boy and didn’t yet know the truth about Santa, nor the mechanics of sex, yet it made him feel turned on watching. He apparently started to masturbate soon after this odd Christmastime encounter.

From that point on he said Christmas always got him horny and he couldn’t help but think of his mom getting fucked every time he saw a Santa Claus. Some callers over the years have had Santa Claus themed fantasies, but this was a bit unusual in that it was based on a real life thing he witnessed while waiting for his gifts on Christmas Eve from Santa. He realized a few years later it had been his dad dressed up as Santa in case he woke up and saw him placing gifts under the tree, but dad obviously figured out the coast was clear, so he and mom had some naughty shenanigans under the Christmas tree.

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Too Much of a Good Thing

Some guys will always want bigger cocks. One can certainly understand if they are small or average they would simply want more. To a point that is understandable, but there can in fact be too much of a good thing. Realistically, how man women do you think will be able to comfortably accommodate a penis that is over eight inches? Twelve inches? One caller said he had fantasies of women taking cocks that were sixteen inches. I cannot see how it would even be possible. So a call today says he’s thirteen inches and he knows most women will never be able to take it, so where tiny dick guys like to be humiliated for small penis humiliation, he likes overly large penis humiliation.

Once years ago a man called that claimed to be eleven inches long and he said it was a curse, that only one woman in his life that was over six feet tall and had birthed three children had been able to fully accommodate him. The rest, it simply was not a possibility. Not sure if he just put the tip in or half or what, but I can understand once it’s beyond a certain point, it’s not feasible to get it in.

Average is good enough for most, but of course you do get the ones with three inches, which no woman wants, and once they are over a certain size, that is just as useless as too little. A happy medium is the best answer. Masturbation is pretty much their only option unless they take up fucking large farm animals, which wouldn’t be nice to think about, and I’m sure the animals wouldn’t like it either. So the one today wanted me to tell him how he’s only good for being fucked by men, and sucked and licked by women. Not a very happy problem to have, but the one he’s dealing with.

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