Dirty Underwear Fucker

 

silk-boxers-underwear_black_(1)

Most people masturbate with their hands, this is a given. Some use toys, others use water, I’ve talked to some using fruits and vegetables. There is no end to the creativity of some masturbators, this is for sure. One of my clients has a unique hands free method of masturbating though. He puts his dick between his thighs and pumps his legs up and down. This is all the more enjoyable if he has a silky pair of boxer shorts on. It sounds more like a workout routine than simple masturbatory fun, but hey, whatever gets you through the night.

He’s a nice guy, a teacher, with a naughty habit. He has an expensive collection of groovy underwear. Once he told me the website of this fancy European website to go look at the underwear online, and it was not cheap by any means, it was like luxury underwear. He said any girlfriends he’d had, when they asked what he wanted for his birthday or Christmas, well, he wanted more pairs of this groovy, bizarre underwear. Harmless enough I guess.

He calls and likes me to call him a dirty underwear fucker and he has underwear parties and was afraid when he lived in a building with a community laundry room that people would think he had accidents since he always was laundering so many pairs, but he just liked to cum in them a lot, for hours on end, often having over a dozen pair he was playing with at once and cumming with. He’s a character alright, but I can handle a dirty underwear fucker any day of the year!

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It’s Getting Hot In Here

ginger

A fetish I just recently learned about from a client is called “Figging”. Now we all know about butt plugs and strap ons, but this is a butt plug made out of peeled ginger. As in a hand of ginger you get at the grocery store and carve into the shape of a butt plug. Ginger is a warm spice, it will burn when you stick it inside. Not intolerably so, but noticeably. It can be used vaginally or anally.

I never heard of people sticking spices up their ass before. Carrots, cucumbers, even an apple, but ginger, this was a first for me. Apparently in Victorian times when ones were showing horses they would often insert ginger into the horses anus to make them more sprightly and hold their tails higher! If only we knew, all these years Mr. Ed’s secret! Ground up fresh ginger can also be applied like a paste to temporarily warm the skin, as well as dripping juice on your bits from the grated ginger. I’ve never done this, but honestly it sounds interesting! I’m almost tempted to try the grated fresh ginger on my womanly bits to see the effects.

Applying warming lubricants and lotions and potions is nothing new to try and enhance sexual arousal. Many would ingest things such as Spanish Fly to irritate their urethra and make themselves feel hornier, but it doesn’t take much to poison you, and people would go overboard. I doubt you will ever look at a hand of ginger the same way now…

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The Dinky Dance

 

dancing guy

I get lots of small penis humiliation callers for sure, it’s one of the most common topics I get calls on. Tonight I had a most interesting case though. This man with a small cock has a rather humorous outlook on things and doesn’t seem to feel that badly for his lot as some others do.

He said he used to see a woman and she had him do a little dance for her. A naked dance called, “The Dinky Dance”. Now of course I was laughing at his explanation of this scenario of him dancing naked in front of his girlfriend parading around so his little cock would bob up and down and shake all about. It brought a couple of guys to mind that I had watched on cam years ago, something I almost never do, but they had danced on cam for me and it was most amusing really. The one had a bath towel he’d swipe back and forth across his ass as he swayed his hips as I laughed hysterically, and another with a baseball cap that would flash me by covering and then uncovering his hidden cock behind it.

I swear they were frustrated performers that wanted to be Chippendale’s dancers with their antics, it was most amusing to be sure. The Dinky Dance, I told him he should have someone record this and then post it somewhere where we all could see it and get a good laugh out of it! I wonder what song he’d use? Might be entertaining.

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Tight As A Drum

maninwell

Usually when we hear “Does size matter”, we think of guys and too small cocks, which is of great concern to many of them and their partners. However size is often a concern to women as well, ones that have given birth and are concerned about having too loose a vagina to properly grip their partners during sex. I had an acquaintance that was obsessed with her vaginal size after having two kids.

She would tireless research vaginal rejuvenation procedures online and wonder how she’d pay for this critical surgery she felt was a must have for herself. That coupled with her “over wetness issue”, lord the things she would share…Yikes! She was convinced these two things combined were just dreadful for her sexually. Women that do practice Kegel exercises do have tighter muscles than those that don’t, that’s a fact, but many are unsure how to do them properly. There’s many devices out there to aid you in doing them properly. If it is truly a concern, then learn to do them and do them until you can lift up filled pop bottles with your pussy!

I’ve never had a child, nor will I, but I think a C section is the best possible answer, you avoid this loose pussy issue entirely, you won’t have the same kind of bladder leakage in later years many that have given birth will, it seems a lot more sensible to me all around. Men would I think be reluctant to mention to their partners they didn’t feel as tight as they once did for fear of hurting their feelings, even if they were asked point blank. The exercises seem like a good step to take if there’s any question in your mind as to your tightness. Tight is a good thing. So if after birth your partner is asking for anal like never before, that may be a sign poor pussy just isn’t what she used to be.

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Smooth Skin For Soft Lovin’

smoothskin

Now an undeniable pleasure for both sexes is smooth skin. No one wants to go to bed with someone with skin like an alligator. I feel bad for people with skin conditions, since it not only affects their self esteem with people seeing it, but they would be reluctant to let anyone close to them as well. Even though something might not be contagious, not many are going to wish to get intimate with someone with a raging case of eczema or something similar.

Rough skin can be just the result of too much bathing and not enough moisturizing. I’d rather slather on lotion than bathe less often, so it’s not really a concern of mine, but can be for some. Another issue both sexes face is razor burn from their partners. Men might look good with a couple days worth of scruff on their faces, but that can leave the more sensitive ladies skin with a rash or razor burn. Same goes for men with ladies that shave their pubic hair off. It can leave loverboy with an irritated face.

Shaving daily will keep everything smooth and lovely, just use the right products and techniques when you do, or you’ll be fighting more irritation again. Lovely, smooth skin feels so sexy and soft, how can that not be a turn on? Some men might look ok with facial hair, but ask their partners how their face feels after a couple of hours of kissing their bearded partner. I guess you just have to determine what works for you and your partner. Never be afraid to ask them to shave. Worse they can say is no.

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