This Ain’t No Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest!

Cock-shooting-cum

I had a rather amusing call with a man the other day that did something on a regular basis I found quite odd. He regularly, at least weekly apparently, had a contest of sorts with himself as the only participant, to see how far he could shoot his cum. Of course the first thing that entered my mind was a good old fashioned watermelon spitting contest. Same principal, minus the other participants and watermelon seeds.

He claimed nine feet was his current record. He was in his forties now, and had been doing this weekly since his teens. I didn’t know quite what to say. I was shocked at his current age as you’d think this was something only a very young person would bother with a few times to see what they could do. No, he’s been at it for decades turning it into an artform of sorts. I can imagine he doesn’t have a girlfriend, as this juvenile activity astounded me that he was still carrying on with it. I could just picture some room in his home, set up like a long jump with chalk lines or something to measure how far. What an odd hobby!

I’ve certainly heard of other odd hobbies, and it’s pretty harmless really, just a bit odd for sure. He doesn’t always get to the nine foot mark mind you, and apparently time has only increased his distance, which honestly you’d think the opposite would be true. Maybe it’s all in his head who knows, but he detailed the entire thing out during his call and I can honestly say I’ve never heard a tale quite like it. One said he was on his bed and hit the ceiling a few times, which I guess would be 6-8 feet depending on the height of the bed and the ceiling, who knows, but makes you wonder what sort of things people do behind closed doors for sure.

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Wet Dreams and Sexy Thoughts

man and woman

Apparently 2% of people can bring themselves to orgasm by fantasy alone. Not a single touch, just thoughts alone. Wet dreams are another way people can make themselves cum without any touching. And that’s a lot more than 2%, the 2% is while awake and concentrating. It would be an amazing talent to have. You can certainly get aroused with no touching via porn or erotica or talking sexy to another person, but most people need to then commence touching to orgasm.

Many think women don’t have wet dreams, but indeed we do. Guys have the more dramatic waking up with cum all over their sheets, how messy, but gals do indeed have orgasm dreams as well. Very rarely, not as often as guys. I usually only have one every 3-5 years that I am aware of anyway. I guess if you have them and don’t wake up you simply aren’t aware. When you wake up having an orgasm, you certainly feel it! Nice way to wake up!

If everyone had this ability though, imagine people at their desks getting off as they worked away just thinking themselves to orgasm, could be a bit tricky. There are vibrating panties with pockets for bullet vibes in them to get off without ever touching themselves directly, so the vibes are doing it for them, but you have to put in the effort here to make all that happen, most aren’t going to go to the trouble of all that, but thoughts, well anyone can have them and ones would do it at inappropriate times, all kinds of calamities could ensue.

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Balloons For Naughty Fun

balloons

Balloons are in fact often associated with a good time, they are often used at parties and festive get togethers as we all know. Some however are using balloons for a different kind of good time. I haven’t talked to that many into balloon fetish in the last five years I’ve been doing calls, only two clients come to mind actually. One the other day sent me pictures of himself with three balloons on him. One on each nipple on clothespegs and one on his cock.

The one on his cock had air in it, which he said was a difficult task to accomplish, using fast movements and vegetable oil! He said his Mistress would glide the balloon up and down his cock without actually touching the cock itself, it was just the semi blown up balloon that would get moved. It seemed quite different yet he said it was most pleasurable. Also quite an affordable thing to be into, as you can easily get a large bag of balloons at the dollar store that would last you through several dozen masturbation sessions.

The things people get into never cease to amaze me, the creativity, the unusual items they somehow sexualize and turn into masturbation toys. Some will blow the balloons up and then rub the air filled ones against themselves for a sensation very different to skin on skin touch, yet arousing for them at the time.  I can see using one as a condom replacement in a pinch, but they have used them for a lot more than just that.

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Love Potion # 9

lovepotion

If things in the bedroom are lukewarm instead of red hot, you may look to get things kicked up a notch with a libido enhancer. For thousands of years ones have been searching for the elusive perfect potion to make us even hornier. Or usually for our mates to get hornier, since it’s often a mate with a low sex drive that we want to get going in the bedroom. Sadly as we age hormones lessen and we just are not as randy in our later years as in our teens. Would be kind of scary if grandpa was sporting a woody half the time like a teenage boy, though!

Nature makes us horniest during our childbearing years so we have a higher chance of procreating, but most times people are looking for sex and to feel horny, child making has nothing to do with it. Spanish fly isn’t a fly, it’s the ground up wings of a beetle that when consumed irritate the genitals and engorge them with blood the same way as if you were sexually aroused. Too much though, and you are easily poisoned, countless people have died from ingesting this, and it’s now illegal in many countries, but there are “natural versions” of it out there that claim to have the same effects without the whole take too much and you’ll die aspect to it.

Blood flow, or lack of it, seems to be a big factor here. Ones that exercise regularly often also have better sex lives, likely not a coincidence that their blood flow would be better than a sedentary person. There are many herbal libido enhancers, creams applied topically that are supposed to increase blood flow, pumps that you place over your genitals and use suction to manually bring blood to the area, all kinds of things to try if nature is letting you down. Much is pure quackery, but some certainly cannot hurt to try.

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We’re Going To Need A Sample

sexy female doctor

So often I hear about men with various medical scenarios for their sexual fantasies. Many seem to go hand in hand with small penis humiliation, the collection of semen and the proper use of medical terms, penis rather than cock, vagina rather than pussy, etc. Some also like the prostate milking and sperm collection. The measuring of sperm volume and it being sent off to the lab for sperm counting and examination.

Some imagine the semen being collected as either the doctor masturbates them, or some are masturbating themselves as they are being given a prostate milking.  One that calls always fucks the doctor right on the examination table and then the sperm is collected from her vagina. She sort of lets it drip into the collection cup after he’s finished and what drips out is sent to the lab for thorough testing and examination. The doctor doesn’t give such specialized treatment and collection methods to all her patients mind you, but this particular patient is worth the extra effort.

Sexy nurses are popular as well, they often assist the doctors or even take part in an office threesome and make him the most important patient ever! Many of these medical callers are very insistent on the proper words being used for body parts, it breaks their fantasy if not done as they envision. True, a doctor or nurse would never ask how your cock or pussy is doing, so I can understand their wanting that element be preserved for realism.

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