Masturbation Exercises

kicking on back

For many years I’ve had a client that described a different way of masturbating to me than anyone else. He said he didn’t use his hand, he pumped his legs up and down. For some reason I envisioned him in a chair, sitting upright, in an armless chair, hands on the chair seat sides and bouncing his legs up and down. For nearly 6 years I heard about this, wearing a few layers of underwear as well, not nude.

Well after all these years I got to witness this spectacle on Skype and it was not what I envisioned at all. He was on a bed, on his back legs up, knees crossed and bouncing up and down like a fiend. You could do this in a public place and I doubt anyone would know what you were up to. He said he had actually done it in a gym once and no one noticed, it looked like some kind of wild, odd abdominal exercise! He said it did help with abs as well. He also looked nothing like what I envisioned after all these years either, I’d imagined him thin and he was chubby, no glasses and he had glasses, odd how different things can be when we see them from our imaginations.

This bizarre way of masturbation was something he’d been doing since he was 12, he’d used his hand a few times, but said he far preferred this bouncing and kicking routine on his back. Hey, whatever feels good, I guess! It just looked totally non sexual, like some weird exercise, I couldn’t believe my eyes to see it after so many years of talking to him as he did it. I guess there’s many different avenues to pleasure for some of us for sure.

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A Tale Of Two Pussies

taleoftwopussies

Now all kinds of pussies have their fans, I have honestly had some men say they only want pussy the way God intended it-hairy. Most seem to be older that prefer that natural style though it seems. Look at the pics, which one would you rather bury your face into? If I was a guy there’s no question which one I’d accept and which one would be getting the wrinkled nose and rejection. I guess some wouldn’t mind, they’d overlook the hair, some into hairy pussy would prefer the one that looks like a throw rug.

Most all body hair removal is fairly modern, but it has always existed in some cultures to some degree. In the middle east, in Egypt from the times of the pharaohs, there has been waxing and body sugaring to remove hair. We are very lucky these days that removal is such a snap in comparison to even just a couple of hundred years ago. I doubt you’d want to risk shaving down there with a straight razor, that could be a horrible situation. I don’t even know how you would. I’d think if it would encourage someone to go down on you more, you’d be happy to keep it smooth and clean shaven.

It really feels better smooth, makes it feel nicer and more aware of your naughty bits. I can’t imagine anyone that’s tried natural and shaved that could say shaved doesn’t feel better. I think when I go on the bus and most don’t even look clean or even smell in many cases, if that’s what they present to the world, I’m betting their crotches would be au naturale and awful. The ungroomed masses indeed.

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You Saw What?

neighbor

Naughty neighbors are everywhere. Are you one of them, or maybe you have one yourself…If we have a handsome neighbor, sometimes it’s hard not to put on a bit of a show for them, if we catch them spying on us, especially if we have a pool or are sunbathing and know they are right over the fence and happen to be casting their eyes our way. Lots of little Lolita types I’m sure like to smooth the suntan lotion all over themselves knowing the middle aged guy from next door might be watching.

Seems kind of mean, yet harmless, we know in most cases a neighbor of all people isn’t going to do anything funny and risk getting caught or having an angry husband or father on his case, so they are kind of a captive audience of sorts that we can tease without much consequence. Lots of bad and lonely and perhaps desperate housewives out there who like to entice the deprived neighbor next door. One man I used to talk to said his neighbor would dance around in front of the bedroom window applying lotion after she got out of the shower and do some sort of teasing show for him.

I’ve heard of naughty neighbors masturbating in windows hoping to be seen, both men and women can be known to do such things. From a guy it could be thought of as a threatening display though, but a women just a tease. I’d think many guys would like a lady neighbor showing off like that! If she was attractive of course, if she was a hag, not so much, then she’d just be making a fool of herself. If I had a handsome young college age boy as a neighbor, I think I’d get a lot of enjoyment teasing him by walking by the window nude, or undressing etc. So I’d be “accidentally” seen. Could be fun!

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A Game Poor Rover Never Bargained For

Many of us really love our family pets, but then there’s ones that love them a wee bit too much. How can we love pets a bit too much, well I’d say when you start looking to your pets as sexual partners, that’s crossing the line. Way back in the 40’s when Kinsey did his sex surveys of Americans, it was discovered that people raised on farms with animals had more experiences of a sexual nature with animals than city folk, sheer availability apparently.

Many pet owners share our beds with the family pets, I always have a couple of cats to share mine, but I’m not doing anything naughty with them, unlike some people. The most absurd story I have is when I was having a personal phone date and my one kitty was on the pillow beside my head, no sense of privacy, and when I came she sunk her teeth into my upper arm! She didn’t like the noise I made when I came! LOL! That was funny, but people involving their pets in “peanut butter games” have a bit naughtier intent for poor Rover. Do the pets mind? Maybe not, who knows. As long as you aren’t hurting them, they may not, but still, they can’t exactly give consent like a person can.

Animals can’t talk, they can’t tell other people what their Masters or Mistresses make them do behind closed doors. Since the dawn of time people have been involved with animals in a way they shouldn’t be, people get horny and many times their judgment goes out the window. They may feel disgusted and ashamed or not when they are finished, until it overtakes them again the next time and they continue on. Some phone sex girls are happy to indulge you in your K-9 or barnyard fantasies, as some do have.

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Reinforced Toes

reinforcedtoe

Now we have all heard of foot fetish, foot jobs and stocking fetish and pantyhose fetish, and yet I’m always learning about new variations on them. Today I had a caller that was obsessed with the stockings and pantyhose with reinforced toes. Now most hose have them, because they do make them less apt to run. It was the seam that usually lines up with your toenails that he was quite taken with.

How that seam felt on his cock during a foot job. He said his wife often tucked under the seam so it didn’t show, he said she and the neighbor lady she was friends with both did this, I’d never heard of tucking under foot seams but he was obsessed with it and how once he felt those seams on the sides of his cock, that was it, he would blow. He was correct, as soon as I started a graphic description of the stocking toe seams on his cock, he did indeed quickly finish. Something so simple, yet not something most would ever pay mind to, yet it drove him wild at the thought of it.

Feet are very erotic to many and nylons to many as well, the combination can prove irresistible to men that become overwhelmed at the sensation and look of the feet in the hose. They so desperately crave to feel it on their hardened cock and shoot their cum all over the hose so it shows in little beads all over the hose. Especially if the stockings are black, the little drops of cum show up even more in contrast.

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