It seems fart fetish is experiencing some sort of renaissance, as I’ve had three fart fetish callers in the last week at least. How something so gross and smelly can be desirable, I’m not sure, but to some men they would rather a stinky fart right in their face than a whiff of fine French perfume. One was telling me how his former girlfriend would at least two times a day tell him when she felt a fart brewing inside and then she’d go sit on his face for him to fully enjoy it. Let’s hope she never had any surprise “sharts” that had more than a puff of air in them if she was right on his face. (For those not in the know, a “shart” is a fart with a tiny bit of liquid shit mixed in, so more than air escapes. Charming.)
Then he started asking me what gassy foods I loved, well, I’ve got to say, I love cabbage rolls, and cabbage, well, we all know about cabbage and what it does, so then he said he wanted those cabbage roll farts on his face, then beans, onions, eggs, all kinds of things he mentioned that make the farts all the smellier, since of course the smellier, the better, not just puffs of air did he want, he wanted blasts of air that smelled so bad a normal man would choke.
Fart fetish is an odd one, it makes you wonder what happened to them to start it all. Were they going down on a woman and by accident she farted and they weren’t horrified or disgusted, but by surprise they liked it? Was it some incident like that? One will never know unless they ask. Being the girlfriend of such a person must be a bizarre experience. Maybe they aren’t comfortable farting in someone’s face even if they are asking for it, consider all the things that would come with such a partnership, it could get awkward.